I am the 97 Percent

I don’t think any of us would disagree that there are issues on Wall Street and something needs to be done. 

Sadly, the Tea Party and the Occupy Wall Street people are both correct.  I say sadly because, after we take into account that 1 percent of the country make up the extreme rich, only about 2 percent of the rest comprise the bizarre individuals on both sides who take to the streets to make a statement about it… and none of the remaining general public are being persuaded to change their minds.

Have you had a chance to walk through any Occupy camps?  For those of you who haven’t, allow me to describe for you my experience, a.k.a. the Four Levels of Occupy Hell. 

First, you’re immediately hit with a pretty foul smell of un-showered bizarrely dressed/costumed people;

Second you go through a wave of free hug signs (Ok I was suckered in to a free hug from a cute woman, who still reeked of un-showeredness);

Third, you’re greeted with really annoying drum circles and bizarre ‘mic check’ camp communications that run in circles and have nothing to do with America being ripped off by the top banks;

And Fourth, you become confused by the plethora of signs that have nothing to do with Wall Street and everything to do with legalizing drugs…and specifically to Baltimore, you also become confused that their solution to rape is kicking you out of the drum circle.

On the opposite side, have you had a chance to walk through any Tea Party protests?  For those of you who haven’t, allow me to describe for you my experience, a.k.a. the Four Levels of Tea Party Hell.

First, you’re greeted pleasantly by people who resemble your parents and grandparents who are crazily adorned with American Flags and battle regalia for it not being an Olympic Sporting event or the on-field reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg;

Second, even though everyone smells nicely, you encounter a wave of people who are blazing their Confederate Flags, which do symbolize slavery now.  I know that people will argue that it’s “Southern Pride,”  but come on, it doesn’t take a genius to connect dots to the Civil War being about slavery…and don’t you dare say commerce and State’s rights, both of those issues were centered around slavery;

Third, you’re greeted with tons of prayer and religious and war-like rhetoric, which basically implies that President Obama is either an anti-Christ or a Muslim, and that his agenda is  taking us straight to hell;

And Fourth, as you weave around all the seated elderly, you feel like the cold, judgmental finger of your grandparents is once again pointing at you, as you suffer from the guilt of your not being religious enough to stand amongst the plethora of signs which smack the word of Jesus in your face, implying that most of us, including you, are headed straight to hell.

I fit into neither one of these groups.  In fact, neither one of these groups accurately represent any of us, the remaining 97 percent of the country, who are equally as upset that our friends and neighbors don’t have jobs and that the richest 1% of the country get government bail outs and perks to continue to be rich.  Why don’t they represent us?  Because, in sum, they’re both large groups of weirdos. 

If you want something done, write and call your elected officials, vote, and put your money in a bank that hasn’t taken advantage of the government and its customers. That’s much more effective than acting like either one of these extremes.

Follow Tim Young on Twitter: www.twitter.com/timrunshismouth