Religion Delivered to Your Door

Dear Door-to-Door Religion Delivery People,

You do not know me. I do not know you. I am a member of your community but you have never met me. When I moved in during a horrendous snowstorm, you did not knock on the door to introduce yourself, offer aid, or directions to the nearest grocery store. You did not bring a casserole, a loaf of bread, a box of salt. I live in this town of 23,000 with a tiny main street, but our paths have never crossed. You did not bring me soup the last time I had a cold. You did not offer assistance when a family member had surgery. 

We are strangers. And, that is okay. I do not need you. You do not need me. We have lived our whole lives without each other. We live in the United States. We have a constitution. As a result, we have the right to be strangers. And, that is okay. 

Why then, why oh why, do you, a complete stranger believe that it is appropriate to knock on my door and assume that my most sacred beliefs are somehow inferior to yours? Or, are any of your business? Why do you knock on my door and chant the age-old mantra responsible for all the wars on the planet? It goes like this, “My god’s bigger than your god. My god’s bigger than yours. My god’s bigger and your god’s wrong and my god’s bigger than yours.”

Maybe your mother did not raise you properly. Maybe nobody taught you that Americans have the Constitutional right to religious freedom without persecution. Maybe your mother didn’t teach you any manners at all.

So, I asked my god about you. She says I should feel very sorry for you. She said I should have compassion for those who are so fragile that they need to follow dictatorial, dualistic doctrines that switch humans off and make them obedient automatons, touting tyrannical beliefs without regard for other human children of the eternal. Sometimes the Great Mother knows best. But, I am not god. She is. The Great Mother does teach some manners. So, I am saying this politely. Just this once. 

Please leave me alone. 

I don’t want you on my porch again. I don’t want you waking me early on weekend mornings and holidays. I do not want you littering my property with intolerant propaganda. I don’t want you screaming at me through my door repeating the brainwashing of your cult leaders, priest, reverend, or other presumed deity. You are not welcome at my house. You have no right to be here. You have no right to persecute people who have beliefs different than yours. Your mama should have raised you better. 

-Angry that I have insulted your mother? I understand. That is what you do every time you knock on my door. 

The Great Mother weeps for you.